People are so overwhelmed by things changing in their lives and their work that we can count on them begin distracted while we are trying to communicate. Whether you are leading a training session or a meeting, over half the people are preoccupied with other thoughts. Some are already gearing up to argue with you.
Our tendency is to talk more and to talk louder to get their attention. We need to deliver our message realizing they hear it through their “What’s In It For Me?” filter. Anything that will touch my wallet will elicit an emotional response. We need to talk just enough to deliver your message, and then stop talking so we can listen.
Listen for the concerns behind the blunt or badly phrased question. Listen for what they fear behind the sarcastic tone in their voice. Respond first by ensuring that you heard their question by summarizing and asking them to confirm that your summary is correct. Then offer the clarification or additional information they requested. If the answer is unknown, say so and ask for their help in finding the best solution. Too many of us launch into a rebuttal which may add further anxiety rather than address their concern.
It takes courage to listen when Change impacts our comfort zones. We stand a greater chance of reducing the resistance when we communicate honestly and encourage the dialogue.
More on encouraging the conversations in the next blog.
What are your thoughts?